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Dec. 28th, 2018 04:59 pm
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Here we stand, beyond the return. It's an unfortunate place to be, really. But if it collapses, and we're the only ones to hit the ground hard, maybe that's fine. Perhaps it'd be better that way. A world devoid of all but the scavengers, surviving off the ruins of a failed societies.

I admit at times, I wish I could achieve eternity, just that I might stand beyond the final closing gates. To see where all roads shall lead.
dotuser: (Default)
In time we'll hear the song again. The song the ocean sings when you stand alone at the end of a pier, deafened to the noise of people behind you.

I stood upon the bow of a ship, tiny and frail, once. Behind me screaming in terror students and teachers. Young and old. Both alike.

But the ocean did not embrace me in evils.
It only gave me the gentle tug and a light hug of love.
It amazed them that the ocean was so kind, to someone so small.
When it would gladly rip the strong from their feet and split them into pieces.

I do miss when it felt that nature loved me.
Perhaps that's what has gone missing in this world.
dotuser: (books)
I often wonder what it would be like, if my life never took the turn it did.

One day, I wore a hat.

It was a decision that changed everything, because the reactions I received were more genuine than any had felt before. So I kept the hat, until one day it disappeared. Perhaps I left it somewhere wrong. Or maybe someone stole it.

The hat had disappeared, for whatever reason, whatever worth. I turned to find the genuine reactions gone. It suddenly was as if the world looked on in disgust. I'd lost what came before, and I'd lost my hat. I was a hitchhiker without a towel. For what it's worth, I look back now and see the genuine was false.

I was a hipster.

With a stupid fucking hat.

But I miss that hat. Because while it brought me attention and interest.
Moreso, it kept my mind inside my skull. And my head was always warm.
dotuser: (Default)
For some reason we had moved to a new house, my sister with us. It was a large house with three floors. Most of the first floor was filled with studies and a large library that actually went two floors high.
Second floor had a dining hall, with a kitchen off the back, and a very large master suite. The top floor had a common room and several bedrooms. At least ones bathroom on each floor.

My parents took the master suite, obviously, while my sister and I got rooms on the top floor.

We had just finished unpacking around the time everyone headed to bed. My sister was taking about meeting the neighbors and told me they said something strange about seeing me on the top floor the night before carrying something, "though that might have just been the ghost."

Apparently the house has a long history and a number of ghosts. The most activity happened.. On the top floor.

As I'm one who doesn't sleep well, I was up most of the night in the dream. When I heard lots of noise.

My sister came running to my room worried about me and then we both saw someone about my height run past my doorway. We decided to check it out, and kept hearing people muttering all over the top floor.

We eventually decided we needed to catch this with a camera and I was frantically trying to get my camera together when outside the room it sounded like someone knocked over a shelf full of glass and metal.

My sister yelled out the doorway then ran around the corner out of sight while I was telling her to calm down and wait, as I had almost finished getting the camera lens attached.

Then I woke up.


What I found especially strange is that when I woke up I was drawn to look across my room, and stood up off a desk was a cable that was wrapped, tied, and sequestered away in a drawer.

I'm not sure why it managed to be on the table entirely untidy and.. Almost like it were hanging. Until I got up tidied it back to how it was.

It was perhaps the strangest thing in a while.
dotuser: (Default)
It's kind of a terrible thought, you know.

If it gets too quiet, it's easy to wonder if you still exist in that moment or not.

I'm often left in situations where I am alone. Silence makes me feel like it lasts forever.

And sometimes if I'm cold, I think I've died.

Who really knows though, maybe I am dead. And this is just whispers in the cold wind left by my ghost.

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